Monday, July 11, 2005

Road Rage

Well, this last Sunday was rather interesting.

My wife and I decided we needed to go to Home Depot to pick up a few things. We got to the parking-lot turn-in in my wife's car, and she was signalling to make a right turn into the parking lot from the roadway. There was a pedestrian crossing the road, so she had to wait for him to get out of the way before she could continue.

When it was clear, she started making a right turn just as the guy in a beat-up white sedan behind her tried darting around her in the bike lane. She nearly side-swiped him, so she honked and threw her arms in the air. The guy in the white sedan promptly flipped us off. We left it at that - we don't sink to that level.

We pulled into the parking lot and parked, and this overweight short guy with no neck and a kid about 12 years old comes walking towards us. A conversation starts:

Fat Guy: "Maybe you should f*cking move next time instead of sitting there!"
Wife: "I couldn't move because there was a Ped in front of me."
Fat Guy: "A what!?"
Wife: "A PEDESTRIAN!"

Blank stare on Fat Guy's face. Couple of blinks. Apparently he has no idea what a 'pedestrian' is.

Fat Guy: "Stupid f*cking bitch."

The guy turns and starts walking towards Home Depot in front of us. He turns to us and says "I'd never hit a woman, but I'll f*cking knock your boyfriend on his ass."

I suddenly had a flashback that I was back in high school, and this is that fat bully in the corner who eats the heads off Barbie dolls during English class. It was obvious that this middle-aged fat man had the mental capacity he had back in 9th grade.

Now, I have to admit that a part of me wanted him to turn around so I could pummel him, but instead, the only thing that came out of my mouth was "Oh give me a break. Grow up." The guy didn't say anything after that. He just kept walking with his 12 year old son alongside him. I can tell that this is the model father right here. I know his son will be the next barbie-doll eating maniac in highschool, if he's not already. Of course, somehow I doubt that the kid will even make it to high school.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmm...interesting....could have been handled in several different ways. One would be to talk down to him and make him look like an idiot to his son...which would provoke him into violence....you could have stooped to his level and talked to him in 4th grade language with colorful metaphors, which would have provoked him into violence. Thirdly you could have burst into laughter and say out loud the the patrons of Home Depot to gather around and charge a cover to see a man ape in the parking lot, which would have provoked him into violence and perhaps he may have chucked some poop. Either way, violence would have probably emerged from someone like that.

7:22 AM  
Blogger Evil_Homer said...

Hey update your blog once and awhile you lazy bum!

Evil_Homer

http://valkrien.blogspot.com

12:19 PM  

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