June 28, 2005 -
White Trash and K-Mart

Sometimes at lunch, I like to leave the office and go out to eat. The problem is that there's no really good places nearby, so I'll sometimes go over to the local K-Mart and grab some snacks, then sit back in the shade of a tree in my truck and listen to the radio. The patrons of this particular K-Mart look like a cross between baboons and Cletus from the Simpsons, and that's just the women.

Now, the K-Mart that I go to has an abnormally large parking lot that is about 90% empty, so I'll park way out in the back where there is absolutely nobody around. I can sit back and relax without being disturbed -- until today.

There I am, enjoying my barbecue flavored Pringles and a cherry Coke, when I hear this rumbling. I'm leaning back in my seat without a care in the world, so I didn't notice the jacked-up rusted Ford pickup truck pulling in next to me.

Apparently, the shade from the tree I was enjoying was providing a little shade to the spot next to me, and Bubba here figured he'd park in it. There are probably 10,000 other parking spots hundreds of feet away, but this jackass decides to be my shade buddy.

I figure what the hell, I'll just go back to reading my Calvin and Hobbes comic book and ignore him. Not so easy. Bubba rolls down his window and jacks up his radio with some redneck twangy country music crap that rattles my windows. Calvin and Hobbes suddenly don't seem so funny.

Now, you've gotta ask yourself, what the hell is this guy thinking? Is he trying to start some sort of music showdown? The guy looks like he just crawled out of the bayou, and he obviously has no sense of personal space. Of course, I have no sense of courtesy in a situation like this. I rolled down my window, put in some Metallica, and jacked it all the way up. I gave hickboy a little "hello" wave and went back to reading Calvin and Hobbes. Bubba didn't seem to like this, so he drove away after a mere 30 seconds.

Barbecue Pringles are good.